then/now

once, i was a universe,
the expanses of stars and the intrepid explorer.
I was the newborn foal and the knock-kneed doe; uncertain, eager.
I was still, unblemished water, and long gulps of cool air after diving.
I was a dirt road, bare clapboard walls, rooms to be filled.
I was a phone call home, and the future wife, and the names of your children.

I gave it all.  I gave it all.  

Now, I am a filled-in map, no borders left unchallenged.
I am a burned-out light bulb and the fumbling that follows.
I am a picked clean, sun-bleached skeleton and the buzzards overhead.
I am feet encased in concrete and dirty bathwater circling the drain.
I am static, a dead line, the click and the dial tone.

I take it back. I take it back.