terrible and good (2009)

everything was all at once terrible and good
because he was a mountain that you tried to climb barefoot
and when you reached the top you couldn't see the air with all the blood on the ground, all the blood in your hair that he wiped away with a finger and a concerned look
it was terrible because there was a fire and you couldn't save your dog
it was barking in the bedroom but the hallway was full of smoke
and you couldn't breathe well enough to move
so you just lay in the grass and watched the world burn down
you just lay in the sand and watched yourself drown and
isn't it lovely how the sky looks so murky when viewed through
rippling green waters that would have been cause for celebration
if they weren't the thing that made you go blind
in the first place
so you try to rub the dirt from your eyes,
you try to write a letter,
you tie a string around your finger to keep you from forgetting
but there is more dirt under your nails and
all the paper turned to ash
and it doesn't matter because by the time the knot is done
you've already forgotten what you'd woken up for in the first place