snow

after the storm he tried to be brave

and ran barefoot through the snow

so that i would have a path to follow

i watched his toes swell up frozen, black

and stiff and threaten to detach themselves

from his body

it was the first time i ever loved

something rotten

and i thought of all the ways i could carry

his weight

when the snow came again and threatened to 

bury us behind already closed doors

in the quiet i let a record spin long after finishing

and he slept to face the wall

timed his breathing with the rhythmic looping

and the hollow vinyl scratches

and i wondered how i could love a man

so broken 

who spent his days curled up fetal

and his nights crunching ice between his teeth

sitting at the kitchen table

stalwart, stagnant and sick

when the snow melted

i taught him how to walk again 

one arm around his waist and another elbow deep 

digging down into his chest to try and

reignite his want for movement

and i 

wondered how i could love him so.


**you used threatened twice, dork!